Being Gay is not a choice!

In Uncategorized on September 30, 2010 at 9:13 PM

There have been many, many changes in this country the past couple years that frankly have been frightening and disheartening; from the corporate take over of our government and media; to Americans apathetic response to the nobility of universal health care and the negative effects of global climate change.  For some reason none of those topics compelled me to start my own blog? (see apathy above).   Then I heard about this tragedy and the complete violation of privacy that caused it. (see  This story isn’t an anomaly or a freak occurrence it happens all the time.  Heaven forbid you even mention you are gay.  A study by Daryl Presgraves (contact Daryl at with shows that 9 out of 10 (90%!) LGBT students report being harassed at school about their sexual orientation.  Then we wonder why it was so hard for Tyler Clementi to face the almost guaranteed abuse he would have to endure once this tape had been released. 

I’m not a gay man.  However, I am a father.  Me and my wife have worked hard at creating an environment of acceptance that our four children (ages 11 to 27) feel comfortable in respecting their mind, body and soul.  And that their sexual preference is entirely theirs to experience and develop and is none of our business.  However, I must be honest, I hope they don’t choose a gay/lesbian lifestyle because this society is so critical and violent towards the LGBT community.  All four of them appear to be heterosexual – but that can change.  It can change because gay feelings towards another is NOT a choice – those feelings choose you.  Why would we protect them from loving someone?  Why should that be hindered, discouraged or scoffed at?  Why is that feeling so scary to people? 

I’ve had the pleasure to know many gay/lesbian people in my life and there wasn’t a single time I can remember feeling unnerved or worried about being in their presence for any reason.  We’re all human beings – they just prefer to love someone of their own sex.  Why is that so shocking?  Is it because we are told by family, clergy, government officials, media stars?  Do you know there is virtually zero mention of same-sex relationships in the Bible – maybe 5-6 verses and none of them view the relationship as it is perceived by those “good people” or “real American’s” that base all their opinions inside the Scripture.  As a matter of fact Jesus never mentions anything about same-sex relationships. 

The society in which we live demands news information in tag lines (see CNN Headline News); conversations in 140 characters (see Twitter); real life on TV (see ANY scripted reality show); and family time described as mom and dad having a beer, wine or cocktail while they watch “Entertainment Tonight” and the kids play video games, on-line with perfect strangers, it’s no wonder what happened at Rutgers seemed so nonchalant and arbitrary.  The attitude of “…well I’m glad that wasn’t my kid who died or ended his life with a swarthy little gay secret…” or “…what would my friends think of me if my kid was gay, ugh…” has to be addressed. 

These kids who put out the sex tape didn’t see anything wrong with it.  I’m not sure why they felt that someone killing themselves as a direct result of their violation of this boys privacy.  Maybe it was because he was gay?  Maybe it was because during their upbringing they weren’t taught boundaries and respect for others?  Maybe it was the slow weakening of the senses that viewing the violence in video games over years of playing does – I don’t even know if anyone is studying those effects?  Regardless of the reason that we’ve become such an apathetic society and like lambs to slaughter will follow whatever the most influential media tells us to believe.  We are as a people and a country are disappearing into a country without an identity; without a purpose; without any sense of righteousness, except for “…I got mine…” type of society.  This type of society will not survive folks.  I hope we aren’t already on the path to a high-end, third world country, but it might be too late.


  1. Wonderful post. This is your first? Great job, please keep it up.
    You got it right with the whole “I got mine” society we’re living in.

    • Thanks for your comments and support Kip. I plan on keeping it going. If there is any chance to reverse direction on this we must talk, talk, and keep talking about it. Siege.

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